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Talking to Your Child about Weight

By Stefanie Hamilton

Weight is a sensitive issue for most people. This is especially true of children. An overweight or obese child may feel very self-conscious about their weight or appearance, and may even be teased by classmates.

If you are concerned about your child's weight, take time to carefully consider the best way to approach the topic with them. Here are some suggestions:

How do you decide if you should discuss weight with your child?

First, consider your child's age. Children in elementary school are likely too young for such a conversation. At this age, their parents are making all of the decisions surrounding food and exercise.

If you have a young child who is overweight or obese, simply begin making the changes necessary to bring their weight under control while teaching them healthy lifestyle choices at the same time. Emphasizing weight with your child when they are too young may set them up for a lifelong struggle with body image or eating disorders.

If your children are older and struggling with their weight, talk to them about what foods they are eating, what exercise they are getting and any problems they may be having without stressing the fact that they are overweight. Be supportive of your children and help them do what is necessary to become healthier.

What should you say?

The best way to talk to a child about weight is to talk not about weight, but about health. Instead of telling your child they are too heavy or that you think they need to lose some weight, talk about the importance of eating healthy and getting enough physical activity. Point out the benefits of physical health, such as having more energy, increased self-confidence and less illness.

Your child will be more willing to listen if you make healthier living a family project. Focusing all the attention on your child could negatively affect their self-esteem and interest in losing weight. Instead, tell them that the entire family is going to eat better and get involved with physical activity. Teach your child healthy eating habits by including them in grocery shopping and meal planning.

When should you say it?

Timing is important. Sitting your child down for a formal "we need to talk" conversation could unnecessarily cause your child to feel stressed, and make their weight into a bigger issue than it needs to be. Instead, look for more natural opportunities to discuss weight and health, such as when you're grocery shopping, walking to school, playing in the yard or making dinner.

How should you say it?

Delivery is everything, no matter the topic. You can have the best ideas and intentions, but if you present them the wrong way, your child won't listen. Avoid anger, frustration and sarcasm. These attitudes are hurtful, especially coming from a parent. Be encouraging and supportive, and above all else, make sure you child knows you love them.

While you want to reinforce the conversation you and your child have about health and weight, you don't want to nag. There's a fine line between supporting your child and pestering them, and you'll need to find it.

Consider Your Motivation

Though this may seem like a lot to keep in mind, don't feel overwhelmed. Take time to carefully think through what you want to say, and consider practicing a few times.

You may also want to consider your own motivations for wanting to help your child lose weight. Are you truly concerned with your child's health? Are you embarrassed at having an overweight child? Do you want your child to be athletically competitive? Any selfish or unkind motivations you have need to be dealt with before you talk to your child, or you risk the possibility of having them come out during your conversation. Make sure your primary concern is the health and well-being of your child.

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